Halloween Is Coming!

I was thinking about what to dress up for this Halloween, and lo and behold, after pondering long and hard, I think I have found it!

I originally just wanted to go with something political, given this horrifying election season and the choices therein, but it is hard to stay in the spirit of Halloween with just a cliche presidential mask.

Boring is no good, I want it to be striking. Then I realized, "Y'know, I really want to go as something scary!" My personal fave rave is the classic Michael Meyers-Shatner mask, but there's always about fifty of those running around on Halloween night and it's definitely not political, unless your trying to get the nomination of the psycho mime party. No, I'm going with a more mainstream terrorizer.

A Kommissar Obama mask would fit the bill perfectly, but as we all now know (after having been told so by Senator FrankenBiden) if you say anything or do anything that can be considered even remotely negative about the big ol' socialist BO, then it is automatically racist.

So, what to do? Political, scary, but not racist, striking. How about some humor then, something maybe even ironic?

Well, how about me (a big, mean WASP dude) going in 'drag'! That's it! Ironic and funny. Hey, if drag is funny enough for Hope & Crosby, it's good enough for me!

But in drag as what woman? Hmmm...the obvious choice would be Hillary, but that's too predictable. And frankly I don't like the idea of getting that close to that much evil - it'd be kind of like drinking a bunch of Jager Bombs then playing with a Ouija board. No sense in jerking around and sending my soul to Hell with a stunt like that!

Then I thought, "Let's go regional! It's Texas and everyone around here would appreciate some local flavor, right? There's gotta be a mockable female politico in the Lone Star State I could dress up as..." Are you kidding? JUST one? Heh, heh, this is what's known as a target rich environment...

So again the wheels began turning, "So, we go scary, political, not racist, shocking, ironic and in drag! That's a pretty high mark...but who, who, who could I go as? Hmmm..........

Oh hey, I got it! How about her:

Ann Richards!

Wow, you can almost hear E.L.O. singing "Evil Woman!" Now I'm all set to get candy, scare children and desecrate the memory of Texas' most haggy, corrupt Governor ever! Wheee! Try doing THAT with your other lesser holidays! No wonder I love Halloween so much!

Trick or Treat, you bitter clingers!

xxxxx